"Alice Gallagher’s imagination, sensitivity, and warmth, combined with her experience with epilepsy make her a unique asset to the arts."
-Håkan Rosengren, to the Lowell Sun.
In 1998, I made my solo debut playing Mozart's Clarinet Concerto with the Boston Pops in Symphony Hall. It was, literally, a dream come true.
However, just a few months earlier, at age seventeen, another hope was realized; I was finally diagnosed with epilepsy after years of no answers or solutions to my mysterious "spells" or "episodes."
Why am I including my story of being a musician with epilepsy in my website?
What does living with epilepsy have to do with my life as a clarinet teacher?
It taught me tenacity.
It took a long time for my seizures to come under any kind of control. My life as a student at Juilliard consisted of practicing several hours a day, trials of many sedating medications, nearly weekly emergency room visits, weeks and weeks of hospitalizations, and up to ten seizures a day. It took me two extra years to finish my degree.
How did I ever graduate?
I just never gave up.
I showed up to class, sometimes in a haze of medications.
I practiced, and practiced, and practiced, having to re-learn things over and over because of the interruptions of the seizures.
I can speak as an authority on the value of tenacity and perseverance to my students as they work toward their individual goals.
It gives me empathy.
I understand adversity. I understand that sometimes the reason a student might not be performing well in lessons has nothing to do with their talent or work ethic. There may be any number of obstacles in their way or they may be going through a difficult experience.
Music can be a great way to express oneself or serve as a catharsis in the midst of challenge or pain, but sometimes it just takes words and a listening ear to validate the emotions and then work through them. Music is so personal, and my past of having persevered despite suffering from uncontrolled epilepsy gives me the ability to empathize with students who are facing challenges of all sorts and help them grow not only as individual musicians but as people.
It taught me that dreams can be re-imagined.
It has taken me longer than my peers to figure out where I belong in music. At the time that I was diagnosed, I felt assured that I would take medication that would control my seizures, and that I would go on to thrive as a musician at Juilliard and secure a job as a clarinetist in a professional orchestra. My teachers all confirmed that my dreams were attainable and predicted great success. Unfortunately, I was one of the thirty percent of epilepsy patients with refractory seizures that aren't easily controlled with medications.
Ultimately, I had to change my idea of success as epilepsy turned the plans I had for my life upside-down.
I had to accept that the life of a professional orchestral musician was not one that I could pursue with my condition, even though my seizures are now under much better control with a less intense schedule. It was painful to let go of my initial dream, but I know now that I have a special new focus.
Having found confidence in a new identity as a teacher of young clarinetists, I love knowing that I am giving my students who are just beginning the clarinet the invaluable advantage of a one-in-a-million experience: the opportunity to study with a world-class musician with a world-class education in a local setting.
I am fortunate enough that my epilepsy does not keep me from performing in other venues and settings than the orchestra, and am currently concentrating on solo recitals and guest solo appearances with bands and orchestras locally.
-Håkan Rosengren, to the Lowell Sun.
In 1998, I made my solo debut playing Mozart's Clarinet Concerto with the Boston Pops in Symphony Hall. It was, literally, a dream come true.
However, just a few months earlier, at age seventeen, another hope was realized; I was finally diagnosed with epilepsy after years of no answers or solutions to my mysterious "spells" or "episodes."
Why am I including my story of being a musician with epilepsy in my website?
What does living with epilepsy have to do with my life as a clarinet teacher?
It taught me tenacity.
It took a long time for my seizures to come under any kind of control. My life as a student at Juilliard consisted of practicing several hours a day, trials of many sedating medications, nearly weekly emergency room visits, weeks and weeks of hospitalizations, and up to ten seizures a day. It took me two extra years to finish my degree.
How did I ever graduate?
I just never gave up.
I showed up to class, sometimes in a haze of medications.
I practiced, and practiced, and practiced, having to re-learn things over and over because of the interruptions of the seizures.
I can speak as an authority on the value of tenacity and perseverance to my students as they work toward their individual goals.
It gives me empathy.
I understand adversity. I understand that sometimes the reason a student might not be performing well in lessons has nothing to do with their talent or work ethic. There may be any number of obstacles in their way or they may be going through a difficult experience.
Music can be a great way to express oneself or serve as a catharsis in the midst of challenge or pain, but sometimes it just takes words and a listening ear to validate the emotions and then work through them. Music is so personal, and my past of having persevered despite suffering from uncontrolled epilepsy gives me the ability to empathize with students who are facing challenges of all sorts and help them grow not only as individual musicians but as people.
It taught me that dreams can be re-imagined.
It has taken me longer than my peers to figure out where I belong in music. At the time that I was diagnosed, I felt assured that I would take medication that would control my seizures, and that I would go on to thrive as a musician at Juilliard and secure a job as a clarinetist in a professional orchestra. My teachers all confirmed that my dreams were attainable and predicted great success. Unfortunately, I was one of the thirty percent of epilepsy patients with refractory seizures that aren't easily controlled with medications.
Ultimately, I had to change my idea of success as epilepsy turned the plans I had for my life upside-down.
I had to accept that the life of a professional orchestral musician was not one that I could pursue with my condition, even though my seizures are now under much better control with a less intense schedule. It was painful to let go of my initial dream, but I know now that I have a special new focus.
Having found confidence in a new identity as a teacher of young clarinetists, I love knowing that I am giving my students who are just beginning the clarinet the invaluable advantage of a one-in-a-million experience: the opportunity to study with a world-class musician with a world-class education in a local setting.
I am fortunate enough that my epilepsy does not keep me from performing in other venues and settings than the orchestra, and am currently concentrating on solo recitals and guest solo appearances with bands and orchestras locally.